You know, my life was saved by rock and roll.




		I used to be a real wild child. Learn from my mistakes.

			From the day I was born, I hit the bottle. Hard. My dependence on milk was to plague me the rest of my life.

		By age 2, I started sneaking out of the house, looking for another hit. I didn't care about anything or anyone.

			When my parents found out, they were devastated. I was sent to the Nunnery, in an attempt to finally rid me of my demon.

		After leaving the Sisters, a new, clean person, I attended the Cyndi Lauper School of Dance. Soon, I was spotted by a talent scout, and the rest, as they say, was history.

			I became so famous, there was literally nowhere I could go where I wouldn't be recognised and harassed for autographs.

		Slowly, I found myself returning to my old friend. It was the only way I could deal with the pressure...ultimately, it was to prove my downfall.


			First came the shameless cross-promotion...

		...Then the clashes with the paparazzi...

			...desecration of public property...

		...and fast living. I blew my money like it was going out of fashion.

			By the time I began posing nude, I thought I'd hit rock bottom. I was wrong...

		Really, having a baby was a great moment in my life. If only I wasn't so young. Post-natal depression caused me to swing even further into the cow-juice.

			Soon, I had ballooned grotesquely, and thought nothing of dressing my child like an escapee from an insane asylum.

		By the time of the Intervention, I hadn't left my bed for three years.

			I had to learn how to eat again...shiny things confused me.

		Yes, I paid for my weakness. Paid with my innocence, paid with my life... Milk should only be taken in moderation. Take care of yourself, and each other.