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Eric
Forrester
III
Now, as most people with too much spare time in the afternoon know, Eric
Forrester the Third is a character from the long-running CBS production “The
Bold and the Beautiful”. That sixty-something
guy with a Richard Gere mane and black suit. That one who was married to Brooke
and Stephanie…yeah, I know, I have an exciting life…
you do pushups, you
do a swim
in your own personal gym
grab your books and off to school
where no one likes you
you're that rich kid
from LA
teacher's pet, nothing but A's
never mind what others say
we all love you
(ok, so far this makes sense. I suppose the main weird thing is the fact this
song exists…it’s so strange. The only other B&B song I know is that one by
Aussie new-punkers “The Drugs”…and it’s not quite like this. This one searches
for some inner meaning or something.)
you'll grow up,
become a man
and a fashion designer
like your father and his dad
too much pressure
you don't want to be like him
all you want is to fit in
find a girl and see a film
(surely
a man with a gym also has a cinema)
simple pleasures
so many things to do
so many things to see
get beat up after class
and meet the industry
it's sad to say
but things only get worse
seems you we're born with a curse
you'll get married and divorce
so much trouble
loose the firm and sell your home
join a gang and hit the road
start dressing like depeche mode
(hey, I
LIKE depeche mode)
eric!!!! eric!!!!
Then, vanish from
the face of earth at 33
they'll find your car
nearby the german embassy
(ok,
maybe this is some creepy Baltic thing, but WTF?)
you've got a shitty
life ahead you
eric forrester
Penguins
This
absolute gem comes from the May 2001 album, “City Loves”. Eplik was prolly
about 19-20…still, I don’t condone such blatant use of LSD…he must have been on
some heavy shit to write this!
come on penguins
let me face you one more time
come on over
let me in for one more round (is that innuendo?)
how do you do it I don't know
but it scares me to death
how do you do it I don't know
but it scares me
come on penguins (hey, I saw this in an Adam
Sandler movie once)
let me in for one more round
let me over
Ladies
Love Me
OK, this song was
CB’s first break-through. This one just kinda sparks the imagination…I love Engrish so much.
ladies love me
and I love ladies (apparently true, as the 22
year old is father to a one year old son)
I guess that's why they keep sending me photographs
of themselves with their babies (!!!)
the schoolgirls love me
they send me photos too
but not with any children involved
they're just nude ooh (ohmigod! Hahahah)
I've tried to take it easy
god knows I can't
I'm running out of patience enough's enough
I'm tired my love so tired of love my love
and all in all
I'm just a man simply a man
my father once told me the great fact of his life
he said you can't screw all the women of this world
but least you can do is try (nice)
so I've followed his footsteps in every way
by giving all of me to women day after day
(yeah, the problem comes when they
don’t actually want his ‘gift’)
Miscellaneous...
Well, the rest
continues on like this. Check out the website for more particulars, but here are
some other bits of gold…
last night I
slept with Elvis
in a heartbreak hotel
I'm sure you're all pleased to hear that
the king is alive and well
I heard his voice in my ear saying
dear are you lonesome tonight
I said well for a few hundreds
I'll be anything you like
I've had a
boobjob
and tightened my arse
shitloads of sugar shitloads of cash
I'm the next big thing after jesus yeah
hey baby I wanna
make you mine
don't you worry sugar it won't hurt
after the first time
come on girl I
wanna sex you up (oooooh, yeah.)
you hot sexy mama
don't you ever stop me no no
call me esmeralda
call me the gangsta' of love (Steve
Miller?)
I wanna show you
I wanna be your dog (Iggy Pop?)
so you'd take me
to a stroll in the sunny side
you could do us
all a favour
commit a suicide
an electronic pussy if you please
gimme dirty
gimme shit
your so dirty your so sweet
please don't
tell anyone about last night
your mom would kill me
if she found out what we did around three
screw the
business class
into their fat-fed ass
while still delirious
so you pray to
god
and worship it throught his penis
that's his idea of making love
while he's having his peanuts
all men are pigs and you're the venus
you name his son swineard after jesus
(now that’s some
classy rhyming; penis-peanuts-venus-jesus)
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